Hey brother, my name is John. I am a man of many things in my life. One of those things is that I earned a Master’s of Science in Psychology from California State Polytechnic University, Pomona. Another is that I am a man that has been on a wonderful and challenging journey that I call my life. In fact, during my life, I have encountered many struggles some you may relate to others you may not. Through each challenge I faced, I struggled to overcome and persevere, but I did not become overwhelmed.
There were times that I was on the brink of allowing these struggles to overwhelm me. I stand here today because I made the choice to face each challenge with
a strong faith that I will persevere and I will overcome. I will achieve my greatest potential in my life.
Sadly, my greatest struggle has been to overcome a childhood full of negative patterns that I endured from a young age. Growing up in an environment where there was a lacking of validation, understanding, security, or safety, I became a passive boy and later in life a passive man. I chose to have no wants, no desires. No true ambitions in life. I chose to exist rather than live.
My one ambition in life was to make sure that everyone liked or loved me. I became a chameleon willing to adapt and change to what others wanted due to a lack of guidance on how to be my own man. I went into my teenage years and then my adult years living and believing this way.
At one point, I grew tired of being this passively, overly nice guy succumbing to everyone’s needs but my own. During that time, I went from one extreme to the other. From the overly nice guy to the overly aggressive guy. My new persona worked for a while to get me into romantic relationships I thought I wanted and make me feel good about myself but it was draining to keep up because I never feel like I was being authentic. I grew up with a brother much like this and I had sworn to myself that I would not be like him in any way. Also, I did not feel that I was being true to myself by being the old me as the passive, nice guy but that is where I felt the most comfortable so that is where I stayed. I returned to my homeostasis, my normal state of being.
My choice to stay as the passive man lead to many problems in my life. Problems such as coping with alcohol, depression, anxiety, feelings of low self-worth, allowing people to treat me poorly, poor relationships, jumping from job to job, and many other things. All of these behaviors, thoughts, and feelings lead me to a life that I was out of alignment. I was flimsy like a piece of cardboard. Flapping around not know who I was or what I wanted or who I wanted to be. Allowing others to define me or my past to define me.
What you have read above is what I used to be and how I used to be.
Today I am confident in who I am so, if I choose to make a change it is a change that I want and not one to please someone else. I am assertive enough that I take a stand for what I believe in and ask clearly for my needs.
One of the first things that got me on this journey was admitting to myself that things were out of alignment and I needed balance the scales. I had read a number of personal/self-help books but I had taken very little action. So, I took action. While realizing that it was I that stood in my own way, so it was I that needed to move.
First and foremost, I'd like to congratulate you. If you have made it to this page, you have already taken a huge step toward creating a life you've always dreamed of. Before I explain what I can do for you, I'd like to share a little bit about myself.
Since a young age, I have battled with society’s definition of who I should be. I was never the kid who followed in the shadow of my father who spent his days working or yelling at the television. Instead, I emulated my mother who taught me about love, art, and philosophy. In high school, I was a social reject due to my preference of musical theatre over sports.
In college, I got into a relationship that lasted six years too long. Ultimately it left me completely emasculated and absent of identity. I had become a people pleaser with no self-worth. This bothered me greatly. I did not want to be anyones door mat.
In an effort to be considered “desirable” by others, I decided to embrace the other side of my personality. I went out and I learned the ways of pickup. I emulated men who I thought I wanted to be, and ignored my calling. Instead of simply balancing myself out, I moved from one extreme of myself to another. I had changed from being a compassionate and passive man, to an emotionally stoic, womanizing, aggressive jerk.
For a while, I thought this was the lifestyle I wanted. I was attracting women, I had new friends, and I was living a lifestyle other men envied. Although, this did not last long. Eventually, this persona created a battle with my inner self.
I had been on this earth for so long yet I had nothing to show for it. Emptiness consumed me at this point.
In my mind I was at the bottom. I had little clue what to do from here. I firmly made the decision that enough was enough and thus I began my journey as a peaceful warrior.
I have spent years of reading, taking courses, going to seminars so that I could acquire the knowledge and skills to optimize my life. Now my path is to share what I've learned with you. I want to be the man that I needed back then, for you.
Although I experienced many struggles in my life, I have always had a passion for helping others. In high school, I was a youth leader where I served as a source of support and encouragement for my peers. In college, I attended the University of La Verne in California where I received my BS in Psychology and later my MS in Marriage and Family Therapy. I am officially certified as a life coach by the International Coaching Federation.
After all of my learning, developing, and growing I have set a larger goal in my mind it is helping men everywhere who want to level up in life, achieve their optimum potential in their health, career, relationships, and personal improvement.
My passion to help others didn't stop with my education. I took action on the knowledge I acquired with my friends and peers. I've coached a good friend through leaving his day job in retail to start his dream business as a professional brewer. I've worked with men who were the stereotypical shy guy around women. I helped them emerge as a confident and balanced man. One man won the heart of his dream girl. No matter how small or large the challenge, I've taken on anything thrown my way and have helped men achieve greatness in their lives.
As a life coach, I serve as a catalyst of change for your life. I will help you break free from control, expectations, and fear, bringing balance to your life so you can master your purpose and become your ideal self. I will save you the agony and time I spent trying to find who I was and get you to where you want to be faster than you can imagine.
The answers you seek are within you, and as your life coach, we will work as a team to find them and build the life of your dreams.
Are you ready to make the necessary changes in order to be the man that you want to be? Good, let's get started.
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